Healers Can’t Care
Posted by: John
“Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can’t do anything about.” — Abraham
One of the most important things I’ve had to learn as a healer is to detach myself emotionally from my clients’ healing or lack thereof. I think all healers start out with the idea that they can cause another to heal and if the other doesn’t heal, there must have been something wrong with the healing technique, or the application thereof, or that the practitioner is inadequate in some way.
Those beliefs place the responsibility for the client’s healing everywhere but the one place it belongs…with the client. Have you ever wondered why a given treatment for a particular condition works for some people and not for others? The obvious answer is that the ones who healed were ready to heal. Those who did not heal were not in a vibrational state that allowed their healing.
We in the West are raised to believe that medicine is something to be applied to our condition to cause us to heal. By extension, the same mindset is applied to alternative modalities. Healers, whether traditional Western practitioners or alternative practitioners, hold themselves responsible for their clients’ healing.
There’s a reason why they don’t let surgeons operate on family members – they care too much! The responsibility for a positive outcome is so great that the likelihood of error goes up considerably.
I often tell my Reiki students that the most difficult part of Reiki is getting out of the way. What that means is that Reiki cannot be forced. Trying to force it will only pinch off the flow of energy. The “trick”, so to speak, is to be an open channel and allow Reiki to flow freely. One can’t do that if they’re emotionally invested in the outcome.
To be truly effective as a healer, one must trust the modality completely. If the practitioner trusts their method implicitly, this offers a vibration of confidence and well being to the client. This is the single most important thing any healer can do for her client. People heal because they are a vibrational match to their own well being. It is much easier to come into that alignment if the healer is aligned first.
I have learned to trust completely in Reiki and the Universe to deliver to the client exactly what they need in exactly the right amount. I understand that what the client wants and what they need may be two very different things and I further understand that the ultimate decision to heal belongs with the client.
The best I can do is offer Reiki and hold my client in a vibration of well being. After that, they’re on their own. In other words, while I can influence them, I have no direct control over them. That knowing frees me from the burden of their healing (or not) and allows me to flow Reiki the best way I can.
Obviously, I wish for my clients the most positive of outcomes, but I understand that I can’t see the big picture of what is in their highest good. That’s between them and their Inner Being. I simply have to trust that whatever the outcome, it is in their best interest.
If I allow myself to be drawn into judging their outcome, I reduce my effectiveness as a healer and facilitator of their well being. As Abraham puts it, my work is to feel good because if I don’t feel good, I have nothing to offer anyone anyway.
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- Tags: Abraham, law of attraction, reiki
2 Responses to “Healers Can’t Care”
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May 22nd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I think “worry” or another word choice might be better than “care”. While the dictionary describes care in terms of anxiety or concern, I tend to use it (as do most people I know) with a slightly more positive connotation. If I care what happens to someone, I am concerned, but not necessarily worried. It means to me that it makes a difference what happens to the person, although I know I am not in control over what happens to them. To say we don’t care about others, or about things means to me we don’t care about the world. By definition, the dictionary cites “neglect” as the opposite of care. I don’t think a neglectful Reiki practitioner would be good for anyone.
I understand your point that to be effective, we as Reiki practitioners must remove ourselves and our desires from the equation, but I don’t agree that we should ever stop caring.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Hi, Beth,
Actually, I chose the word “care” deliberately for a couple of reasons. First, I figured it would get peoples’ attention, and second, I define “care” in that context as having an emotional stake in the outcome. If I “care” about something, it’s important to me, by definition. If the outcome of my Reiki treatment is important, I’m creating resistance. Ideally, I want to remove resistance, i.e. be a clear channel for Reiki to flow. In order to do that, I have to be okay with the outcome no matter what it is.
I don’t mean to imply that we don’t have the desire for those to whom we offer Reiki to be healed. If we didn’t have that desire, we wouldn’t have become healers in the first place. Our desire for the well being of others is why we do what we do. We just have to accept that our desire can be fulfilled in ways other than what we might judge to be the ideal outcome. That’s actually determined by the recipient, not by us.
Abraham says that we must be selfish enough to care how we feel and if we aren’t aligned, i.e. not feeling good, we have nothing to give anyone else. If we care about the outcome and the outcome doesn’t go the way we want it to, we’re going to be out of alignment and that’s counterproductive to our desires as healers.
Namaste,
John